Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
