So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
