Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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