just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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