Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
