is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
