Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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