Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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