So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
