Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
