hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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