I hope mine doesn't look like that
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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