if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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