I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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