paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
