I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
