they need to just BURY HIM!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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