id be glad to
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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