I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
