Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
