No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
