she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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