weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
