If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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