well you can't waste a boner
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
