have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
