just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
