every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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