I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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