I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
