Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize