riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
