something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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