I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
