Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
