so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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