i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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