I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
