Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
