Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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