Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
