yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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