I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
