mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
