lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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