Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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