Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize