my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
