...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
