Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
