Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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